Chris Hart
Christopher MeinGuh Hart '''is an anime and manga artist who lives, draws, eats and works his brushes off in Connecticut. He is the author of like, hundreds of how-to-draw manga books aimed at children and teens. He is the world's best selling bigwig of how-to-draw manga and anime books. But it looks like something isn't quite right. It appears that at least ''somethin' ''has gone topsy-turvy in Chrissie's career. To top off this paragraph, Chris Hart's drawin' ain't the way it's supposed to be, ain't it? '''Manga and Mein-Guh Manga and Mein-guh, '''how are they different? Well, we're not blowin' up this article with comic info, so let's just say Chris Hart can't even pronounce manga or anime correctly in the first place! Duh! The correct pronunciation of manga is '''MUN-guh, but Chrissy always gets it wrong, instead saying MEIN-guh. '''In Chris's how-to-draw books for kids, he's like "HEY KIDS DONT WORRY ABOUT ART TECHNIQUES OR ANATOMY LETS DRAW MEIN-GUH!!!" By the way, the correct pronunciation for anime is '''AH-NEE-MAY, yet swearing by the name of god, Chris pronounces it EH-NA-MAY '''like some elderly Swedish artist on YouTube would say it. So we could think '''Mein-guh is a very poorly-drawn and cheap, watered down version of Manga, '''only that I haven't seen any comics or manga drawn in this son-of-a-rabbit-hole style of art... man, Chrissy, gotta get the '''BASIC bread and milk on BASIC '''drawing fundamentals and accepting critique from other artists. Dang, Chrissy, it's pronounced '''MAN-GUH '''not '''MEIN-GUH!!!! Why are his books total crap? Kinda hard to explain, you ask. Originally only a Murican'-style cartoonist, Chrissie was (by no surprise) a starving artist due to 'kids these days' thinking his murican'-cartoon books are boring and waaay too ''cliche. ''One day, Chris thought, 'guess ima hoppin' onto the eh-nuh-me train. kids are really into dis anime and mein-guh stuff these days...' First, Chrissie hopped onto his laptop and decided to search 'anime drawings' on Google Images. His first thought was MAN, THOSE CUTE GIRLS ARE HOT CHICKS IN DEM YOUTH'S EYES...I ain't know a goddamn bout' this anime or mein-guh stuff, but I'm effing fed up with bein' a starving artist...HEY KIDS! LET'S DRAW ANIME! Being the total ass he's always been, Chris printed out some pics of Touhou, Sailor Moon, 4Kids dubbed animes and undoubtedly Pokemon. Without doing his very best at tracing the characters on the pictures, he rage quitted and shouted at the top of his lungs "Damn it! I'll NEVER ''BE ABLE TO DO IT!" while slamming his fists on his desk and moaning all night. But when Chris woke up in the morning, he looked at a picture of Sailor Moon he printed out the other day, and admired this pretty girl '''so' much, he whispered to himself "Man, maybe I ''can do mein-guh too!" And on the same day, Chrissie looked up and printed MOAR pics of cute anime girls (only to draw em' of course) and using a very basic and poor style of art and no knowledge of anatomy, decided to create illustrations of a fusion of his in-creative and dull ideas with dem' Google images of anime. These drawings, comprised of very basic ideas like a totally unrealistic samurai teenager who's like, "Yay! I've got muhself a sword, and I don't know how to use it!" to a Godzilla-like gray monster singing a song to the city about why it stinks. He even went further to write dialogue to make a book that day, of course lacking originality. Somehow, by begging and pleading to accept his indie book dummy at the Scholastic Headquarters in New York City during summer, the employees agreed to publish it and Chris knew from that day on, he was well on the path to being a bigwig in the how-to-draw books industry. And that's how his career started. Nuff' said! The content of his books... Despite being the world's most successful (or at least paid) mein-guh aritist, many good artists around Murica have proudly and even politely critiqued his terrible artwork for fair and square reasons. Just peek at Chris's deviantart page and ya'll have an idea how hilariously inaccurate it is. First and foremost, Chris has no grasp of originality or creativity whatsoever. Kids Draw Manga Shojou? Complete cheap ripoff of Sailor Moon anime he watched on his Ipad. His teensy-weensy bit of creativity in his DNA is just tiny little generic thoughts, like a star soldier fighting a spaceship '''Friendly's do-it-yourself matcha ice cream sundae', and the only robots he can think of are so awful, they don't even resemble any anime robots I've ever seen. Yeah kids, it's ''DAT bad. Just imagine when Chris-Chan tries to draw a knockoff of Pokemon. Also, Chris portrays women (whether manga or not) in the most hateful way possible, such as telling his readers that only males can be rockstars of science, and greatly oversizes women's breasts while undersizing their waists to make dem' look like Hollywood stars. In one of his books, he even thinks cute skinny girls instantly become obese and dumb as a brick when they reach age 40. No, he ''did ''say that. To the touch, Christopher's mein-guh books represent little girls and even adult women as bird-brained idiots that are whiny and don't believe or suceed in science. What Chrissie needs to comprehend is the fact that women are very similar to men, and they have few differences. This bad art habit may have something to do with how female characters are portrayed in his '''Murican'-cartoon' how-to-draw books, like "Annoying Sister" or "Whiny 3 Year Old". No matter how much Chrissie desperately tries to sketch a decent anime boy, or girl for that matter, of course, he miserably fails! The main reason why is because he has no grasp of even basic anatomy of how joints flex and muscles move. Chris doesn't have a clue that the neck muscles he points out at in his manga anatomy books are called the trapezius. Heh heh heh, nice try, Chrissy! Criticism and the Chris Hart Defense Squad Chrissie always responds very poorly and very unkindly to even a little pinch of criticism, let alone the fact he has banned many deviantart users for '''POLITELY '''CRITICIZING his art. Chrissie also has the habit of talking back right in dem' critics ''faces, ''refusing to take their advice to spruce up his drawing skills. In A Nutshell: I can't improve! Category:4Kids Category:Chris Hart Himself